Press: Mr. Pres., What Can You Say About The
Violence Here In The
Phils?
Erap: I Didn't Even Know How To Play
Guitar...Violence Pa!

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When Ninoy died, they wrote "NINOY, HINDI KA
NAGIISA" in his monument.
When Erap dies, they will also write in his
monument these words 'ERAP HINDI KA
NAGIISIP"!!
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Alfredo Lim is half-Filipino, half-Chinese.
Manoling Morato is half-Filipino, half-Filipina.
Erap is half-Filipino, half-Alcohol.
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reporter: mr. president, have you watched "Apollo
13". erap: no, i might not undertand it. reporter:
why?? erap: because i wasn't able to watch
Apollo part 1 to 12.

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Heavens Ugliest Women

Three men were waiting at Heaven's Gate. St. Peter says, "OK, guys, pretty much anything goes up here, but whatever you do, never lie, or you will spend the rest of eternity with the ugliest women in the universe."

So they all agree and are admitted in. The first guy makes it a week before he lies about how rich he was on Earth. Bam! Right at his side appears the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

The second guy makes it another couple weeks before he lies about how smart he is. Bam! At his side appears the second ugliest woman in the universe.

So the first two guys are walking around with their monsters of women when they see their third friend walking with the hottest woman ever conceived by man. The first two guys say in unison, "How did you land with that babe when we get stuck with these nasty women?"

He nudges the babe and says, "Tell them." She says to the first two guys, "I lied."

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A Love Story

I shall seek and find you.

I shall take you to bed and control you.

I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you grunt and groan.

I will make you beg for mercy.

I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I leave you.

And you will be weak for days.

All my love,

The Flu

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may contest between an american, a japanese, and of course, pinoy. contest ito ng patapangan. papasok sila sa isang madilim na bahay, dala lang isang flashlight.

una american: pasok siya. binuksan nya flashlight nya. may narinig sya na nagsabi "dudukutin kita, bibilugin kita, kakainin kita." sa takot nya tumakbo sya palabas.

sunud yung japanese: ganun din nangyari. tumakbo sya palabas sa takot.

finally yung pinoy: nangyari din sa kanya yun. pero di sya tumakbo palabas. baket? kasi pag tingin nya sa isang kanto may nakita syang maliit na bata na nangungulangot. nanalo ang pinoy!